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This is getting out of hand...

  • 12th Nov, 2008 at 10:21 AM
goodgod
So, the medication I take has a side-effect; it causes the person taking it to have very vivid dreams. It does not alter the kind of dreams, or in any way what you are dreaming, it just serves to make everything much more intense. This also makes them much more memorable, so anyone experiencing this will remember much more of their dreams than they had previously. Also, it weakens the body's ability to keep you from moving in the night, so you are more prone to waking up periodically.
So, they put me on anti-seisure medication to prevent me from both seixing and moving in my sleep. They put me on anti-anxiety medication to prevent me from having a panic attack in my sleep (which is not fun to do) and to help prevent nightmarish dreams. This all results in dreams that are so realistic (because the anti-anxiety meds supress my imagination, and because the anti-depressants and the LSD make them feel very, very real) that I am having trouble distinguishing my dreams and reality.
This does not mean that I am unaware that I am dreaming, or that I think that I am dreaming when I am awake. What it does mean is that, at times, I will recall an event or perception that I had during a dream, and without paying too much attention I may accept it as reality.
Example: I had dreamt that I had invited a couple of friends over and we had smoked the hookah in my room. I knew that I only had one coal left for my hookah, and that held in my dream, ergo, while dreaming, I thought about how I was using my last coal. A few days after, I think about inviting Heather to come over and smoke the hookah with me, but I didn't call her because I remembered that I had used the last of my coals, and didn't know where to procure more. I was later looking for something else in my desk drawer, and found the last remaining coal and became quite confused.
Example: This morning I woke up and was very sure that it was Thursday, because at some point during the week I had dreamt about taking my little brother to school in the morning, and that is how I internally keep track of the day of the week. Subsequently I woke my mother up at seven thirty in the morning, because her schedule had her working at seven on Thursday. Waking my mother up for no reason is not a good thing.
Example: I dreamt that I was reading one of the books I had checked out from the library, a book of poetry. My father asked me, later in real life, whether I enjoyed the book, and I said yes, especially the one about the rose and the river. There is no such poem.


Is this enough to actually qualify me as insane? Or do I just need to make sure that I pay more attention to the things that I think that I've done, so as not to make mistakes?

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