So ,it's Monday night.

I get an IM from Nathan. He wants me to come over. I'm all for it. He says he'll call around 9:30/10 to specify when, because he's finishing a paper.

I get a call around 9. It's Maria. She wants to go to Little Chef, as is our wont on monday nights. I explain to her the situation, and I agree to call her as soon as I have new info.

9:20. Nathan calls. He's working on his paper still, but he gives me directions and says to come over around 1. I agree. I call Maria and tell her I'll go with her, but I have to leave by 12ish.

We go to Little Chef. Coffee is consumed, cigarettes are smoked. She accidentally kicks me under the table. I kick her back. She says, "I put a fairy curse on your hookup tonight."

I make her take it back, but the damage is done. We leave around 12, and for the love of God we run into Kent and Stephen on the way back to her dorm. I declare "I'm getting LAID tonight!"

By whom, they inquire.

Nathan Dickinson, I reply.

They both gasp in horror.

This part is so sick and twisted and fucked up that I want so badly to be pissed, and punch concrete, light things on fire, stab a baby, but all I can do is laugh and then feel really Emo.

Kent slept with Nathan back in November. It was really bad.

That in and of itself is not so bad. They are both bottoms, I reason, so sex between them is not going to be good.

But there's more.

Phil was going to have sex with him some time ago, but didn't, and with good reason.








He had crabs. Not Phil, Nathan.










There go my plans for the evening, and all hopes I have of being laid for the rest of my life.

Why does the universe hate me? Why does every little thing conspire to keep me celibate?

Kent offered to have sex with me.

I'm not sure if he was joking.







I'm sure no one will be surprised when I don't show up for, oh, aything in the next couple days, while I drown my sorrows and emo-ness in cough syrup and sleep.