chelsalicious306 (8:13:44 PM): unless you have pressing issues you would like to discuss.

victorthesage (8:13:55 PM): Besides the cancer, nothing comes to mind.

chelsalicious306 (8:15:05 PM): thats a joke, right?

chelsalicious306 (8:15:17 PM): i mean, its not funny like a joke,,, but its a lie like a joke, right?

victorthesage (8:15:53 PM): Um, yes, it's a lie like a joke.

victorthesage (8:16:09 PM): Do you honestly think you wouldn't know about me having cancer?

chelsalicious306 (8:16:17 PM): i dont know shit about shit

victorthesage (8:16:30 PM): so graphic.

chelsalicious306 (8:16:45 PM): plus, i mean at some point you would have to tell me that you have cancer in order for me to knwo

victorthesage (8:17:07 PM): The parents would tell you.

chelsalicious306 (8:17:08 PM): its not like i have a brosephine sense where i just know what is growing in your bod

victorthesage (8:17:35 PM): That would be the worst superpower ever.

victorthesage (8:17:40 PM): whatever.

victorthesage (8:17:53 PM): Go do whatever you college girls do for your webcams.

chelsalicious306 (8:18:20 PM): mmkay <3


I fly like paper get high like planes
If you catch me at the border I got Visas in my name
If you come around here I can make 'em all day
get one done in a second if you wait

Sometime I feel sitting on trains
every stop I get to, clockin' that game
Everyone's a winner, making our fame
Bonafide hustler making my name

Pirate skulls and bones
sticks and stones and weed and bongs
runnin' when we hit 'em
little poison through their system

No one on the corner gets swag like us
hit my on eht burner prepaid wireless
we pack and deliver like UPS trucks
already going to hell just pumping my gas

Some some some I some I murder
Some I some I let go

After the actual thanksgiving day I went to see August Rush with Carrie, and it was good but I wanted better. The music was swell, and Jonathon Rhys Meyers is amazing, but the ending was kind of anti-climactic and Freddie Highmore felt kind of... flat? More of a prod than a prodigy... and yes, that joke made perfect sense in my head.

Afterwards we hit the town with Kent and JRapp and Miss Disease, following a severely inebriated couple down to the Tridge and then debating which of us should go in after them if they had indeed fallen into the Tittabawasee River. We decided it should be me, by virtue of my swim team ties... even though I never won a damn race. And it was in middle school, eight years ago. And there were no tryouts, they just begged people to join so that they got funding from the school. Whatever, I was clearly the best option.

We considered leaving Kent at Pizza Sam's, but when I fell off of the fire-hydrant and landed on my elbow that plan went all tits-up.

I don't care that you don't understand, you weren't meant to.

We went to Carrie's, where Kent did awkward things, and then Mr. Pahl did awkward things, and then we went to Kent's where Mrs. Malosh decorated with awkward things. Seriously, a fake fireplace, a piece of round glass that had a price tag for twenty bucks, and a fake tree that tried SO HARD to be a real boy... it was sad.

Knicknacks everywhere.

Seriously. In the fucking bathroom.

She has a gay son! She doesn't have to live like that! Not that Kent can decorate worth a damn, but he has lots of gay friends.

The next day I went to Toledo (no es en Ohio) to visit the extended fam, and many awkward moments ensued. I learned that my Aunt Lee has the same taste in television as I do, my Cousin Anna is working on the Vagina Monologues at Hope, my Cousin Tim finally apologized for making me hit him in the face with a guitar last year(he deserved it), and my cousin (fourth cousin, twice removed) tried to set me up with her brother... who lives in Japan.

I've friended him on the livejournal and I hope that will make her happy. She was very insistent that we would get along. He seems like good people, though, even though he's Gaijin, and if he can stand me then I have a new friend on the interwebs.

For the majority of the evening my sister, my Cousin Anna and I sat next to the chip dip and discussed gay things... like The L Word and Modest Mouse. I had a conversation with my Aunt Kip about Subversive Vaginas and Vagina Dentata.

For a gay man I get a lot of Vagina worked into my daily life.

I lost spectacularly to Zach at Guitar Hero III, but won against Tim and Tony, so I feel okay about it.

The next day my Grandmother decides to drive me home to the Commune, and my Aunt Amanda comes along (codename: nana(which is not NahNuh, it's NuhNuh)). So Grandma and Nana and I go to the Hunan House and Grandma tells me that, although she at first freaked out about me being gay, she has now kind of accepted it but wonders if I might be willing to answer her questions because she knows how knowledgeable I am about stuff and I'm the only person in the world that she likes to argue with and the whole time I keep throwing out words like Vagina and Cock to scare the two other people in the restaurant.

Then Nan and Grandma came to my house and met my roommates, and Amy told my Grandmother that I look just like her, and now my Grandmother feels good about life for the next several months.




Now I should really start working on that ten page Mabinogion paper due tomorrow... like maybe pick a topic...

Cigarettes and chocoloate milk
these are just a couple of my cravings
everything it seems I like's a little bit stronger
a little bit thicker
a little bit harmful for me

If I should buy Jelly Beans
I'd have to eat them all in one sitting
everything it seems I like's a little bit sweeter
a little bit fatter
a little bit harmful for me

And then there's those other things
which for several reasons we won't mention
everything about them is a little bit stranger
a little bit harder
a little bit deadly

It isn't very smart
tends to make one part
so brokenhearted...

Today is my sister's birthday party, and after watching her and her friends for a while, I've realised that they act a great deal like me and my friends... except that they talk less often about female orgasm.

So, i'm not proposing to Maria tomorrow, because her brother has spent most of his life being upstaged by Maria and his wedding ought to be his, plus if I wait for a little bit I can propose in front of Maria's Grandmother, the insane Catholic one who isn't going to the wedding because Aaron and Ashley are getting married outside of the Catholic Church. The same one who was moved to write her legislators about abortion because she had a dream that she swears was sent to her from Jesus about the blood of aborted "children" being poured out onto the Whitehouse.

My God this is going to be so much fun...

How the hell am I supposed to get to Home Depot to buy flowers and give them to my mother for mother's day?