After the actual thanksgiving day I went to see August Rush with Carrie, and it was good but I wanted better. The music was swell, and Jonathon Rhys Meyers is amazing, but the ending was kind of anti-climactic and Freddie Highmore felt kind of... flat? More of a prod than a prodigy... and yes, that joke made perfect sense in my head.

Afterwards we hit the town with Kent and JRapp and Miss Disease, following a severely inebriated couple down to the Tridge and then debating which of us should go in after them if they had indeed fallen into the Tittabawasee River. We decided it should be me, by virtue of my swim team ties... even though I never won a damn race. And it was in middle school, eight years ago. And there were no tryouts, they just begged people to join so that they got funding from the school. Whatever, I was clearly the best option.

We considered leaving Kent at Pizza Sam's, but when I fell off of the fire-hydrant and landed on my elbow that plan went all tits-up.

I don't care that you don't understand, you weren't meant to.

We went to Carrie's, where Kent did awkward things, and then Mr. Pahl did awkward things, and then we went to Kent's where Mrs. Malosh decorated with awkward things. Seriously, a fake fireplace, a piece of round glass that had a price tag for twenty bucks, and a fake tree that tried SO HARD to be a real boy... it was sad.

Knicknacks everywhere.

Seriously. In the fucking bathroom.

She has a gay son! She doesn't have to live like that! Not that Kent can decorate worth a damn, but he has lots of gay friends.

The next day I went to Toledo (no es en Ohio) to visit the extended fam, and many awkward moments ensued. I learned that my Aunt Lee has the same taste in television as I do, my Cousin Anna is working on the Vagina Monologues at Hope, my Cousin Tim finally apologized for making me hit him in the face with a guitar last year(he deserved it), and my cousin (fourth cousin, twice removed) tried to set me up with her brother... who lives in Japan.

I've friended him on the livejournal and I hope that will make her happy. She was very insistent that we would get along. He seems like good people, though, even though he's Gaijin, and if he can stand me then I have a new friend on the interwebs.

For the majority of the evening my sister, my Cousin Anna and I sat next to the chip dip and discussed gay things... like The L Word and Modest Mouse. I had a conversation with my Aunt Kip about Subversive Vaginas and Vagina Dentata.

For a gay man I get a lot of Vagina worked into my daily life.

I lost spectacularly to Zach at Guitar Hero III, but won against Tim and Tony, so I feel okay about it.

The next day my Grandmother decides to drive me home to the Commune, and my Aunt Amanda comes along (codename: nana(which is not NahNuh, it's NuhNuh)). So Grandma and Nana and I go to the Hunan House and Grandma tells me that, although she at first freaked out about me being gay, she has now kind of accepted it but wonders if I might be willing to answer her questions because she knows how knowledgeable I am about stuff and I'm the only person in the world that she likes to argue with and the whole time I keep throwing out words like Vagina and Cock to scare the two other people in the restaurant.

Then Nan and Grandma came to my house and met my roommates, and Amy told my Grandmother that I look just like her, and now my Grandmother feels good about life for the next several months.




Now I should really start working on that ten page Mabinogion paper due tomorrow... like maybe pick a topic...

Cigarettes and chocoloate milk
these are just a couple of my cravings
everything it seems I like's a little bit stronger
a little bit thicker
a little bit harmful for me

If I should buy Jelly Beans
I'd have to eat them all in one sitting
everything it seems I like's a little bit sweeter
a little bit fatter
a little bit harmful for me

And then there's those other things
which for several reasons we won't mention
everything about them is a little bit stranger
a little bit harder
a little bit deadly

It isn't very smart
tends to make one part
so brokenhearted...

I swore it wouldn't happen. I think that I may have actually made promises that it wouldn't.

























Has anyone noticed before that my voice gets deeper after sex as well as my hair getting frizzier?

To Carrie: You rock. This is yours:

Forever in a dumpster: the ambiguous friendship of a possum and a raccoon.



Carrie, from the day that I met you before going capering with Maria, I knew that there was something very, very wrong with your head. No, I couldn't put my finger on it, but I knew it was there, like WASP dysfunction or a fart in church. It was years (or a year, or less, but i'm building a feeling here) before we were passing notes about our sad, pathetic lives here in midland between second and third hour, and again before sixth, but I knew that there was a long, totally sexless future in front of us together (not sexless in general, but you know, no sex together).

Quickly we became fast friends. From meeting at the Tridge whenever possible to complain and make fun of our friends, to using the heat from our AMAZING BRAINS to melt the windows to the library and hold midnight raves (in the history section, of course), there is never a dull moment. I still remember that time that you impaled yourself on a fallen ceiling beam while I set the place on fire, and we had to call in the wizards who live in the birdhouses to heal you. Good times.

Now, I may be making some of this up, but that's only because you have driven me on more than one occassion to inject windex into my very eyeball. God that is a good rush.

I cannot wait until I quit school and live either a: on your ceiling, having been bit by a bat with the good kind of rabies, or b: curled up in one of those sweet circular chairs that's almost the same thing as a beanbag but above the ground.

I blame you for infecting me with hobo-itis in the first place. I always had a fondness for those who live on the margins of society, but had limited my fetish to putting raccoons in my sister's bed until you came along. Hobos are like angels come to earth, and you are one of those angels.