GAAAAHHHHH what the hell does he think he's doing!?

I got sick, I stayed in bed for about thirty four hours... I slept for so long I thought that this was Monday when I woke up. Oddly, after several disturbing but cathartic dreams in which I beat the shit out of several people I know (and a few fictional characters I don't like), I feel fucking great. Which is kind of a waste, because this day is cold and crappy and I don't like it. Nor do I have much to do. I was planning on heading out and filling out a few job apps, but... it's gross out and I only have so many cigarettes with which to raise my spirits.



If Jenny is not still in Canada she should give me a call and we could finally finish off season six of Buffy and I will give her a copy of the comics if she wants them.

Also: finally found places to download comics on the internet? Dude, the years that I have been missing out on X-men are about to be made-up for with interest.

Did you know they made Colossus gay? Also, I've decided that I am sick of Heroes. It was just a replacement for the X-men anyway.

Washing-direction tags: If you draw all of them on your washing machine in pigs blood, and proceed to wash the garment in question, the machine explodes and opens a portal to a horrible hell dimension where Sarah Michelle Geller will hit you with her little stick arms FOR ALL ETERNITY.



Or, the jeans are altered to fit you perfectly. I'm not sure.

TARDIS NOW TARDIS ALWAYS!

I saw that monsters versus aliens movie and I laughed abut six times. I was the only one laughing each time because the jokes went over the heads of the children and mid-western parents watching the movie (like the cracks about global warming).


I now have three seasons of Buffy on the computer. four more to go. plus five of Angel. I have a full life.

Carrie is a whore who does not call people when she is supposed to. I thought that the world should know.

So I was playing golf with Obama, and he was giving me pointers which I thought was ridiculous given that I was beating the pants off of him. So after the game ends and I won we go to the clubhouse for drinks, when there's a nuclear explosion outside and the windows are blown in by the force of the blast. Most everyone goes about their business, and I turn to Obama and say "shouldn't you be doing something about that right about now?" and he says "no, it was supposed to happen."


I think that I might have just predicted a nuclear war. This is documentation, so if it ever happens in the future I get to sue people for copyright infringement if they talk about it.



I lost my library card a million years ago. I can't find any post that I've gotten in the past few months to prove that I live where I do to get a new one. I'm conisdering just ripping the magnetic tabs out of the books I want so that they won't set off the alarm, and then returning them whenever the hell I feel like. Since I know a bunch of librarians, I feel I would be betraying friends if I did that.

In other news, I get freaked out about seeing commercial actors that I recognize from TV shows in actual commercials. I keep seeing this commercial for pizza or something that has the mad scientist from Angel who tried to stop all of time at the exact moment he had an orgasm with his girlfriend. He was also in an episode of Will and Grace. It hurts that I notice these things.



Paintball has failed the cinematic world as the alternative thing for dating people to do in romantic comedies. I took the last watermelon flavored candy from the dish and I am not sorry.
The music video for Lily Allen's version of "Oh my God" would have been better if it included Betty Boop, the penguin waiters, and the octopus bartender from the original Ink and Paint club.

I gained a bunch of weight over the winter. I know that I should start riding my bike in the mornings again to lose it, but I don't feel that I am in good enough shape to be seen on the rail trail, even in early morning light. I don't know what to do about that. You know, it's funny, normally I'm not self-concious at all about my body, except in situations that could improve it.


Turns out this watermelon candy tastes like poo. Now I am sorry.

I've been taking all of these random photos from around town, making a journalistic effort to capture the soul of my home-life? People keep giving me weird looks when I snap pictures of my neighbors from behind trees. Now all I need is to be homebound with a telephoto lens and I can finally be that crazy guy from that movie I saw when I was five.

My favorites so far? The bush decorated with beer cans from across the street and the the one of some guy fishing off the Tridge.



*edit: I tried to post those pictures in this entry, but I can't get it to work... It will happen later.

So there is this guy who was on Jeopardy who had this intense forehead, like it looked fake like he was one of the vampire extras on Buffy like freakin' whoah his forehead was intense.


I thought that you all should know.

bored bored bored bored bored fucking bored


Thomas is faking sick again, which means I'm stuck watching him all day long while I wait for the first two seasons of Buffy to download.


This is one of those awesome days were I didn't get any sleep and I have no oppurtunity to rest and food makes me nauseous and there's a good chance that I'm sleepwalking or something similar. And I swear that I've seen this same damn episode of "Yes Dear" eighteen damn times but the kid will not let me change the channel to anything else BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

It's funny how life rewards you for slogging through shit... like how I have to wait for an half an hour of King of the Hill (the worst show in television history) to be over to get to the goodness that is Family Guy.

Awesome: fun weekend with the Triple V and some scary old guy that I didn't know.

Awesomer: Five nights running I've dreamt of making out with Lindsay.

I'm going to law school. For sure. I have a great GPA, phenomonal scores on the practice LSATs, and the desire to bitch and argue as a career. Take that, bitches.


I dreamt that I was one of the potential slayers all hanging out in the world, and then for some reason all the slayers available were activated all at once (this stems from a conversation that I had about the way slayers work with jenny) and I started fighting evil with Jenny as my sidekick. For some reason this led me to make out with that hot lawyer who lost his arm in Angel. Then I think I started to blow stuff up, but it gets fuzzy at this point because I was semi-conciously trying to return to making out with that Lindsay guy, so the dream sort of dissolved.


ALso, i have updated my list of women with whom I would have sex to include Eliza Dushku, not just because of the whole Faith thing but also because of Bring it On.

I have been craving some spicy garlic wings for weeks... anyone want to go get drunk at BW3's?

I wonder what Bush has done since he left office?

SO, the Gentlemen=creepy as fuck, if I do say so myself. Nothing should move like that. Ever.


Jenny came over saturday, we watched Buffy and Angel, ate tacos, drank a few beers. She left her DVD remote. The usual.


I did not, in fact, lose a tooth today. They decided that they could just fill the crack after all without hitting the nerve and causing tooth death. Yay for me. Now I have a monster filling in the very back of my head.


Do we all remember Super Mario RPG? because I had never played it before. Ever. But it pretty much rocks on toast.


Season 2 of Dexter downloaded, pretty much great. That gives me, oh, a day before I wish I could download the rest of it.


My face is all numb and I keep biting my lip for no reason.

I wish that my house could get infested by a family of Boos. That'd be the most adorable haunting ever.


I'm not sleeping well, and feeling loopy all the time... it's great. I finally found a ROM of Emerald that works, and that makes me happy... We have peanut butter, also a plus... I'm getting a tooth pulled Monday, not so cool... If I could get one more good thing this day would be good overall, right now it's just blah.


Maybe I'll get lucky and somone will get hit by a bus when I go to pick Thomas up from school.

They lied when they told me to keep my wisdom teeth. Now they are telling me to remove five teeth in one go. I am thinking of waiting until I have pain.



I find the Bible is more readable when I replace the characters with people I am familiar with, like "the jews" become "the lesbian bikers," "Noah's sons" become "those frat boys from across the street," "Jesus" becomes "that girl who winked at me in the coffee shop that time..." it just makes the story more relatable.



Do people actually watch Oprah or do we all as a culture just agree that her show is great and she deserves her fame?

So, fun.



I think that I've just done away with sleep all together. I have perfected a sort of dazed state that allows me to watch a movie or read a book, but is still restful/sort of. Oh well. I've finally watched all those classic movies that I've been meaning to. Have you ever seen Sabrina? The original one with Audrey Hepburn and Humphrey Bogart? There is this brilliant speach that Bogart makes about the forward march of industry and how his pennies a day child labor strategy actually makes him a good person... I miss the olden days.


I wrote a short story. I submitted it to a few magazines. Fingers crossed.


Thomas has discovered that the Wii will still sense the wiimote if you are standing in the bathroom, engendering a whole new subdivision of competition that he has dubbed "crapper sports." Basically you play the entire round of bowling on Wii Sports while standing in the bathroom. I forsee it sweeping the nation, and a whole series of YouTube videos will be spawned. There goes my chance at politics.

Has anyone seriously thought about the potential impact of that on future politics? What if that "Numa Numa" kid becomes a succesful lawyer and makes a bid for senator? What if he is actually brilliant but is haunted by that horrible video of him rocking out to a foreign song? Or what if he actually makes it as President until that connection is made; Do you think that they would impeach him over that? That video definitely counts as a high crime in my book.

So, my Aunt got laid off today. She was a pharmacuetical rep, so she'd kind of been expecting it. Oh, yeah, and my brother stole 2,000 dollars from his girlfriend and disappeared into the mist. Luckily, she's not pressing charges, and my family is repressed so we aren't talking about it. Actually, I don't think that my sister even knows. Well, lucky her.

In other news, I found a rom of Mother (the prequel to Earthbound that was never released officially in the U.S.) and a copy of the Doctor Who Christmas special, downloaded them, and copied them to a DVD so that I can use them on my computer, so I've got a full three hours of fun ahead of me tonight, once I'm done babysitting. Woot.

Reasons I am cool:

Between this semester's reading and viewing list, I already own three of five books and four of six movies I need for classes. Not counting textbooks.


I had a dream that I went to a new school, and I was in a Doctor Who episode, where someone had grown these human-plants that absorbed knowledge straight from any organic source and emitted a hormone that repressed any kind of anger and unhappiness. At first it was cool, but then they started using that hormone to manipulate humans into being their slaves... So Martha and I had to try to destroy the radio tower (I don't really know what its function was) while the Doctor created a formula to reverse the process of osmosis learning the plants had begun.


Come to think of it, that sounds like a very plausible episode. Did I copy it from a real episode? I don't think so...



Oh shit, now I have to suspect my dreams of plagiarism.